Forgiveness is how we free ourselves from our own past—the unpleasant parts. Forgiveness is how we free ourselves from an unacceptable present situation. Forgiveness is a high spiritual value and a high spiritual experience. Forgiveness blesses the forgiver and the forgiven. In fact, they often become interchangeable. True forgiveness is an awakening to the idea that no real harm has been done. According to the Course in Miracles, “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.” What this suggests is that in the spiritual sense, we can’t really be harmed in ways that matter. We can, however, seem to harm ourselves. We can achieve this by refusing to forgive.
If it is true that no one can take our power from us, then the above paragraph can begin to make sense. It is our job in life—in every situation—to find our power. In every relationship I have my personal power to do what is best for me. I may want to change the other. I may feel convinced that what they do or have done to me is grudge-worthy, is grounds for severe correction. However, it is not my job to change another adult. If they continue to do things that I find unacceptable, I have the power to leave the situation. If they don’t meet my standard as a good partner, boss, friend, lover, I have the power to re-think my standard, or to move on. Or I have the power to forgive—to just let it go.
“But it wouldn’t take that much for them to correct the problem,” you say in alarm to what is written here. But that is not your business or your decision. And they may not agree with you.
Forgiveness is about letting go. It can be about letting go of what you’ve been mad about, and it can be about letting go of the idea that you are right. It can be about letting go of the idea that it matters who is right. It can be about letting go of what happened in the distant past. It can be about letting go the thoughts and memories that plague you. And sometimes, forgiveness can be about letting go of the other person entirely.
Forgiveness is how we free ourselves.
Forgiveness is a way of giving to ourselves a bright and shiny new present.